Husband divorced his SAH wife because he started hating her

Having a stay-at-home parent can be a huge blessing for a family. There’s no need to pay for daycare, kids get more time to connect with Mom and Dad, and the stay-at-home parent will have time to clean and prepare meals for the family. But this arrangement only works if both parents are on the same page.

Below, you’ll find a recent father’s story shared Details on Reddit about how the pressure on his wife to become a single-income family led to divorce, as well as a conversation with Virginia Gilbert, LMFT.

After having their first child, this man and his partner agreed that both parents would return to work within a year

Image credit: nebojsa_ki (not actual photo)

But when his wife decided she never wanted to return to her job, their marriage quickly fell apart.

Image Credit: LightfieldStudio (not actual photo)

Later, the father updated his post and replied to some of the comments he received

Image credit: Andrea Piacquadio (not actual photo)

Some readers doubted the validity of the post, so the father responded again

Image Source: otherwise-times-1404

Most families in the United States are dual income

most families Dual income is prevalent in the United States, as it is impossible for many people to survive on only one parent’s paycheck. According to Pew Research CenterOnly 18% of American parents did not work in 2021, including 26% of mothers and 7% of fathers.

While mothers are more likely to stay at home than fathers, 60% American I believe that the best situation for families is when one of the parents does not have to work. Mothers who get to stay home spend significantly more time per week on housework and child care than working mothers, but they also report spending 11 hours more a week for leisure and sleeping 5 hours more. Also gives.

In fact, the number of stay-at-home mothers has been increasing in the US in recent years, largely due to the cost of child care. And according to a survey MaternalMore than half of working mothers have considered leaving their jobs because of child care expenses. 64% of stay-at-home moms say they would need flexible hours if they were to return to work, and two-thirds of moms told Motherly they spend $1,000 or more on child care each month.

“When a person feels they are being used for money, or that their financial contribution is not fully appreciated, resentment can grow to such an extent that no return is possible”

To get more insight on this specific condition, we reached out to the physician and author Beyond High-Conflict Divorce: How to Break Up with Your Ex and Find Your Power, Virginia Gilbert, LMFT. Virginia was kind enough to talk bored panda And discuss how common it is for couples to argue about issues like this. The expert shared, “Disagreements over finances – which was one of the main issues in this couple’s split, as the husband felt they could not live comfortably on his salary alone – are among the top reasons people divorce. Is one of.” “People often don’t realize that they have different financial values, and when a person feels they are being used for money, or that their financial contributions are not fully appreciated , then resentment may rise to the point of no return.”

Because of this, Virginia says it’s important for couples to fully discuss how they envision life together before tying the knot. “Many people get caught up in the ‘feelings’ and fantasy of marriage without understanding the teamwork and compromise required to maintain a successful life partnership,” the therapist explains. “Many women want to stay home full-time, but raising a family on just one income is often not realistic. Considering the same thing before walking down the aisle will prevent conflict later – or make you realize you shouldn’t get married!

We were also curious to know if Virginia believed divorce was the right option in this situation. “It feels like there was really a lack of respect and flexibility in this marriage,” she told Bored Panda. “The husband repeatedly tried to communicate with his wife, but it seems she shut him out because she was unwilling to consider his feelings and concerns. It is almost impossible to have a healthy marriage when resentment and harshness take over, and if they had stayed together, the child would likely have sensed his parents’ hostility toward each other.

“Both of them need to separate their personal feelings from their new jobs from essentially being business partners who are co-parenting,” Virginia explains. “You don’t have to like your co-parent to be able to communicate effectively. They both need to manage their emotional reaction and calm down. First Trying to communicate with each other. When they communicate, they need to eliminate any emotions, subjective opinions, or parenting advice and stick to facts and logistics.

“Stuck in blame will escalate conflict,” the expert said. “The best thing you can do for your child is to focus on the things they can control, which is their own behavior, not the other person.”

Being the sole breadwinner can put unhealthy pressure on one of the parents

stay at home while parents are there can be beneficial For a child’s development and their bond with that parent, it can also put immense pressure on the other parent who has become the sole breadwinner. Having one income puts additional pressure on one parent to excel at work, which can lead to stress. If they lose their job, the impact on the entire family can be too much to bear.

Research This suggests that children can be negatively impacted when parents are experiencing financial stress, and when one parent is at work all the time, they may have less time to spend with their young children. There is hardly any time left for this. Children may feel cut off from the working parent or begin to favor one parent, depending on how each parent treats them when they get a chance to spend time together. How do you behave together?

Nowadays, it is becoming more common for fathers to stay at home, but in many societies there is still immense pressure on fathers to be the breadwinner, which can add a lot of stress to fathers’ lives. a study Sociologists at the University of Connecticut found that the more financial responsibility a father takes on, the more strain he experiences on his health and well-being.

Work-related pressure and financial pressure are also the two most important reasons cited by men. mental health issues, Before deciding whether one parent should stay at home or not, it is important for both parties to be on the same page. Moving from dual-income to single-income has an economic and emotional impact on the entire family, so it’s not a decision that should be taken lightly or made by one person.

We’d love to hear your thoughts on this story in the comments below, Panda. Do you think this father was right to divorce? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing stay-at-home parents, we recommend checking out this next,

Many readers agreed with the father’s decision to file for divorce


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